Why I Don't Get Drunk at Work Functions
Why I Don’t Get Drunk at Work Functions
In the spirit of full disclosure, I will admit from the very beginning that I am not a heavy drinker by any rational measure. I am, however, especially reticent about drinking with co-workers.
I often wonder what my co-workers think of me when we are at a function and I do not join them in drinking to excess. I know how I feel when I see them getting ever-more inebriated, louder, less inhibited, more inclined to flirt in what I (and most people) would consider wildly inappropriate ways. I know that I will have to talk to these same people (often the next day), and in some cases offer them guidance or execute some form of disciplinary action related to their work – the effectiveness of which would surely be diminished by them having seen my infamous karaoke version of “Sir Psycho Sexy.”
So I opt to either a) not drink at all; or b) drink very judiciously. The aspect of this practice that might be considered ironic is that I tend not to be a boisterous drunk. I am the classic example of alcohol amplifying one’s personality, rather than changing it; which is to say that I get even more reserved and pedantic.
Alas, I think that alienating my coworkers with a lengthy, drunken, half-correct dissertation on the relative merit of Supply-Side Economics or American Foreign Policy Blunders of the Cold War Era is, ultimately, no better than alienating them with unwanted sexual advances.
So I don’t get drunk at work functions. Let them think me stodgy, at least they will still respect me in the morning.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I will admit from the very beginning that I am not a heavy drinker by any rational measure. I am, however, especially reticent about drinking with co-workers.
I often wonder what my co-workers think of me when we are at a function and I do not join them in drinking to excess. I know how I feel when I see them getting ever-more inebriated, louder, less inhibited, more inclined to flirt in what I (and most people) would consider wildly inappropriate ways. I know that I will have to talk to these same people (often the next day), and in some cases offer them guidance or execute some form of disciplinary action related to their work – the effectiveness of which would surely be diminished by them having seen my infamous karaoke version of “Sir Psycho Sexy.”
So I opt to either a) not drink at all; or b) drink very judiciously. The aspect of this practice that might be considered ironic is that I tend not to be a boisterous drunk. I am the classic example of alcohol amplifying one’s personality, rather than changing it; which is to say that I get even more reserved and pedantic.
Alas, I think that alienating my coworkers with a lengthy, drunken, half-correct dissertation on the relative merit of Supply-Side Economics or American Foreign Policy Blunders of the Cold War Era is, ultimately, no better than alienating them with unwanted sexual advances.
So I don’t get drunk at work functions. Let them think me stodgy, at least they will still respect me in the morning.
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