Death comes to us all

Every time a friend, family member, or friend of friend dies, it gives me an opportunity to think a bit more about mortality and our strange, visceral reaction to it. The emotions that accompany a death -- the grief, anger, frustration, fear, denial -- the generally morose reaction to the passing of someone close, have always confused me a bit. I have to try really hard not to recite the Buddhist parable of the mustard seed, because I know that while the story gives me great comfort, it does not always have the same effect on others.

In any case, I just don't feel particularly sad when people die. I am sometimes surprised that it happened when it did (though, being a rational person, I am never really surprised that it happened...), I am sometimes sorry that I did not get to spend as much time with a person as I would have wished, or that I did not have an opportunity to say goodbye, but it is rare that I am deeply saddened by death.

I do not, however, fault others for their sadness, or any other reaction to death.

I am a bit confused by people who claim great faith being saddened by death. It would seem to me that great faith would bring a sense of ultimate relief in death. If you believe, truly, that death brings reunion with your creator, why would death ever be a sad thing?

I tend to think that the sadness at death is a selfish sadness. Sadness born from the thought of what those who still live have lost. Again, I do not fault people for this sadness -- but as I try (and most often fail, but still try) to let go of selfishness, I just can't feel that sort of sadness.

In case you do not know the Buddhist parable of the mustard seed, here it is:

http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/btg/btg85.htm